In the Balinese culture it is literally a foreign concept for a woman to be unmarried. I love the inquisitiveness of the Balinese ladies as they ask the usual questions:
“Where you from?”
“How long you stay?”
And then the one they’ve actually been wanting to ask:
“Are you married?”
Me: “No.”
I always love their reactions as I get to witness a wide range of emotions spread across their faces. I’m not sure how to describe it better than as a wonderful cocktail of shock and concern coupled with longing and delight, as if they cannot fathom being unmarried but at the same time just imagined a fantastical life story in which they were free and travelling around the world on their own adventures…
I wish I could frame the look of wonderment on their faces.
I was shopping for dresses in Ubud when the lady in the store questioned me about my relationship status and my age. “I’ve just turned thirty-four,” I said. She looked surprised and replied, “But you look so youuung!” and then stated matter-of-factly, “Me, I am thirty-five and in my culture it means I’m expired.” Luckily for her, she is nicely settled in marriage and has two children so she doesn’t have to face the ignominy of being single and past her expiration date. But she tells me that it’s fine in my situation because of my western culture and because I look so much younger. We have a good laugh together, and my laughter becomes even louder when I see the label of the dress I’m busy fitting: ‘Single White Female.’ I buy the dress. I could not have scripted this exchange better.
Today, I had just arrived in the exquisite coastal town of Uluwatu when a lady at the lodge asked me:
“You alone here?”
Me: “Yes.”
To which she replied: “Just you?”
“Yes,” I repeated, laughing at how hopeful she was that rephrasing the question might elicit a different answer.
Or perhaps she was seeking confirmation as she imagined the unthinkable and saw a different life story flash before her eyes…
goodwillhunter.blog 